A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.bruce lee
Anger is one the most destructive emotions; according to me. It ruins you. Ruins the one who you exercise this on.
I don’t know where I acquired this habit from. I was habitually angry from a very young age. When angry, I used to shout at my mother, my grandmother, my dad, my brother. To such an extent that, people around me would literally be scared of me.
I am not sure what caused this anger. One of the main reasons was when my expectations were not met. It could be anything trivial as food not on time, or that my clothes were not ironed, or someone moved my books, or I thought I was given too much work at home. I used to be annoyed at most things around me.
My anger was not normal or healthy. Healthy anger is a good thing. No one dared to raise their voice against me. And this emboldened me.
This habit did not stop into my married life. I was a short tempered goon throwing fits on my spouse on a regular basis. At that point, this was a normal to me.
What caused this behavior in me?
When I did realize my shortcomings, I tried asking myself as to what caused my behavior!!
Below were the points I came out with after self evaluation:
- I was a narcisist
- I felt superior to others
- I was an ego maniac
- I felt entitled
- I did not love ❤️ myself, let alone others
- I lacked empathy
- I wore masks 🎭
Where am I going with this?
I had all the qualities that would make others despise me! But I continued, until the time I felt bad about myself and all the people I had treated badly! 😢
How did I transform myself?
Rather than treat the symptoms, I went to the root cause of the problem. Treating symptoms would me a bandage and I did not want a temporary relief. I wanted a life long transformation.
#Habit No. 1: Journaling ✍🏻
Writing in a journal reminds you of your goals and of your learning in life. It offers a place where you can hold a deliberate, thoughtful conversation with yourself.robin sharma
Perhaps the most important thing that happened to me was that I watched a YouTube video which mentioned about journaling.
Before that, I wanted to transform myself. Self motivation is very important. The desire to change should come from within. Outer influence can only work up to certain extent.
Once I had made a decision to change myself, I started journaling daily. I wrote about whatever came to mind while writing. No particular format; I did not know of any. I started writing about my life, day, food, people I met and so on.
Surprisingly, I was calmer. I saw the change within me.
My wife noticed this. And that’s when I knew I was on a right path.
#Habit 2: Write a Letter 📝
We meet jerks all day. We put on fake faces, fake laughter just to please our superiors and juniors. And certain kind of jerks can ruin your day.
But, why let them take control of your mind or your day?
Whenever I am very angry at someone or some email, I quietly write my response on a piece of paper and destroy it the next morning. I write about how I met the person, what he/she mentioned and what my response was to the person.
This has saved a lot of confrontations which otherwise would have drastic consequences.
I am quite conscious these days on how I react to things. It’s your choice after all, to react in a positive way. Anger is all around us. If we react violently, it gets to control it. Don’t let anger get out of control; it’s a good emotion when used in a proper way. Don’t let that be a disorder.
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